LA LIETA NOVELLA

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
 

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing

 

And always look on the bright side of life

Come on!
Always look on the right side of life

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow

So, always look on the bright side of death
A-just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

 

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life

C'mon Brian, cheer up!

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life

Worse things happen at sea, you know
Always look on the bright side of life

I mean, what have you got to lose
You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing
What have you lost? Nothing!

Always look on the right side of life...

Nothing will come from nothing, you know what they say?
Cheer up you old bugger, c'mon give us a grin!
There you are, see, it's the end of the film
Incidentally, this record is available in the foyer
Some of us have to got live as well, you know

Who do you think pays for all this rubbish
They're not gonna make their money back, you know
I told them, I said to them, Bernie, I said they'll never make their money back

 

 

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

 
"The Show Must Go On"

Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...

Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore

The show must go on, The show must go on

Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?

I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now

Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on - The show must go on

Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends

The show must go on - The show must go on

 I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in

On - with the show -
I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the - On with the show - The show must go on...

The Show Must go on. 
20.12.2013-20.12.2017 

REPETITA ...

Il segreto dell'invisibilità: il SEP (Somebody Else's Problem)

Within the novel "Life, the Universe and Everything", Douglas Adams character Ford Prefect describes Somebody Else's Problem as:

An SEP is something we can't see, or don't see, or our brain doesn't let us see, because we think that it's somebody else's problem.... The brain just edits it out, it's like a blind spot. If you look at it directly you won't see it unless you know precisely what it is. Your only hope is to catch it by surprise out of the corner of your eye.

The narration then explains: The technology involved in making something properly invisible is so mind-bogglingly complex that 999,999,999 times out of a billion it's simpler just to take the thing away and do without it....... The "Somebody Else's Problem field" is much simpler, more effective, and "can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery." 

This is because it relies on people's natural predisposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain. 

Geniale Douglas Adams, sempre.

INSPIRATION

A dispetto di chi crede che la vita debba essere sofferenza ed impegno faticoso e serissimo.
Sacrificio fine a sé stesso.

Gli obiettivi si raggiungono in modo più semplice ed efficace, se mentre si lavora duramente si è in grado di apprezzare appieno ciò che si fa.

Un discorso divertente, "light hearted".
Sul "nonsense" del vivere. E non solo.



Esilarante, stucchevole. Dissacrante.
Promuove il critical thinking, stimola a ragionare, ci ricorda che ridere non è da stupidi, se lo si fa in modo intelligente.

Una personalità interessante. Travolgente.
Dice cose interessanti e sensatissime, con un'ironia pungente, tagliente, incisiva, spietata.

Un genio.
Che, per dirla con Tim Minchin, è un "pazzo con un'audience"
"A genius is a mentally ill person with an audience"

Assolutamente INSPIRING.

CRITICAL THINKING

Non solo musica, non solo comicità.
Da ascoltare.
La versione sottotitolata in italiano, e più in basso per chi parla inglese anche l'introduzione dell'autore.

Esilarante. Intelligente. Dissacrante.
Strepitoso.




I have an apology to make
I'm afraid I've made a big mistake
I turned my face away from you, Lord

I was too blind to see the light
I was too weak to feel Your might
I closed my eyes; I couldn't see the truth, Lord

But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
You sent a messenger to me, and so
Now I've have had the truth revealed to me
Please forgive me all those things I said
I'll no longer betray you, Lord
I will pray to you instead

And I will say thank you, thank you
Thank you, God
Thank you, thank you
Thank you, God...

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I had no idea, but it's suddenly so clear now
I feel such a cynic, how could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works:
A particular prayer in a particular church
Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this
Omnipotent ophthalmologist

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I didn't realize that it was so simple
But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done
You only need to pray in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god,
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch

I know in the past my outlook has been limited
I couldn't see examples of where life had been definitive
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea
(And that's extremely clear! )

Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome!
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension
It's like someone put an eye chart up in front of me
And the top five letters say: I C, G O D

Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical
It's simply that his interests aren't particularly broad
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses,
Or the inequality between the various classes
He gives you strictly limited passes,
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses

I feel so shocking for historically mocking
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular
I bet given the chance, you'd eschew the divine
And start a little business selling contacts online

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds
That of history's endless parade of gods
That the God you just happened to be taught to believe in
Is the actual one and he digs on healing,
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations
Nor the victims of the plague, nor the flood-addled Asians,
But healthy, privately-insured Australians
With common and curable lens degeneration

This story of Sam's has but a single explanation:
A surgical God who digs on magic operations
No, it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation
Exacerbated by a general lack of education
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation
And it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars
It couldn't be an artefact of confirmation bias
A product of groupthink,
A mass delusion,
An Emperor's New Clothes-style fear of exclusion

No, it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician
Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician

No, the only explanation for Sam's mum's seeing:
They prayed to an all-knowing superbeing,
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
And he quite liked the sound of their muttered verse.

So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that
Used his powers to heal the cataracts of Sam's mum
Of Sam's mum

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum!
I didn't realize that it was such a simple thing
I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!

Now I understand how prayer can work:
A particular prayer in a particular church
In a particular style with a particular stuff
And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough,
And for particular people, preferably white
And for particular senses, preferably sight
A particular prayer in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god

And if you get that right, he just might
Take a break from giving babies malaria
And pop down to your local area
To fix the cataracts of your mum!

RECITAL

Recital di Corrado Guzzanti su La7

NON NOVITA'

VERTIGINI

La vertigine non è
paura di cadere
ma
voglia di volare.

RUTILANTE

METEOROPATIA

THAT'S IT

SARA' FORSE COSI'

Che cosa vuoi che faccia
una riga in più a una tigre?

LA DOLCE VITA

Ecco come ci vedono. Di che essere fieri.

La Douche Vita
02/17/11
Venice sinks under the weight of Silvio Berlusconi's giant balls as he faces statutory rape charges.



Esilarante, se non sei italiano.

Attenzione:
non è tanto Berlusconi ad essere preso di mira, quanto il popolo italiano.

And then there’s Italy
A day of protest calling for an in____ leader to step down
One banner reads “Resign and get your head checked”

FINALLY
it appears that Italian people have had enough of Silvio Berlusconi
For 3 terms and about 9 years as Italy’s Prime Minister

Through a tax fraud case related to his Spanish television company
through an influence peddling scandal concerning construction contracts
through allegation of bribery
embezzlement
ties to organized crime
using olive oil that is not exactly a virgin
allegations that were de-emphasize thanks to a near monopoly Berlusconi holds on Italy’s news media
and rendered ___ anyway by a law Berlusconi passed exempting himself from prosecution while in office

Now I know why Venice is sinking. It is under the weight of Silvio Berlusconi’s giant balls.
They’re gigantic!

I was in one of them once and I thought it was a gondola.
Wait a minute I’m in the Prime Minister’s pants!

Apparently ONLY NOW, ONLY NOW has he gone too far

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who ….. today on charges that he had sex with underage prostitutes in one of his bunga bunga sex parties.

I know many of you right now are probably focusing on the compound adjective “bunga bunga”


But by now I’d like to draw your attention to the earlier phrase “with an underage prostitute”
which is one of the rare phrases that sound no more romantic in it natural Italian.
I believe the phrase is “statutory rape”

Of course Berlusconi NOW must be very worried
“Berlusconi denies the charges in his first public
coming on the issue sent on judges order
and he said among other things
“I’m not worried in the least”

Wow, nothing sticks to this guy
Which is impressive, because after all the allegations ___ about him
it seems like he would be quite sticky.

That’s like Charlie Sheen, with diplomatic immunity.
And instead of raising half a man he’s running italy.

Let’s hear from one of Berlusconi’s above age friends with bunga fits

“How much money did he give you?”
“It doesn’t matter.
That’s not the matte”

“Well, some people say that it does matter, because it would suggest that he was
either paying for your services or to keep you quiet”

“Or that he was helping me, just because he cared for me”

Yes, yes.
You’re like the daughter he never fucked.

CAMBIARE PIANETA

Credano lorsignori a quel che vogliono, lo si ritenga anche un artefatto della cinematografia pe' 'l diletto di bimbi e donnine, per quel che concerne noi, fortissimamente affermiamo un puro, mero, meraviglioso e pure incontestabile fatto storico che in pieno s'annunzia e si rapprende in questa semplie e pur trasvolante frase:

Alle ore 15.00 del 10 maggio 1939 - MARTE E' FACCISTA.

La verità è quello che vi dicono, e poi il problema in Italia non mai stato tanto di saperla, ma che saputala tutto resta uguale. 

Perché voi Italiani siete come i Mimimmi, cui tutto passa sopra senza un fiato.

Credete forse oggi voi di essere liberi.

Votate per 10 volte l'anno gente che a volte neanche conoscete, e che una volta eletta fa ciò che vuole, acciuccia e si spartisce. Sempre comanderà un'oligarchia che v'inganna col giuoco delle parti.

E allora dov'è povero postero il guadagno?
La dittatura è un sistema per opprimere il popolo la democrazia un sistema per costringere il popolo ad opprimersi da solo.

Ma ricordate, un popolo che perde la sua memoria ...  

... cosa stavo dicendo? Ah, sì ...

...

IMMACOLATA IPOCRISIA

Pare che il riferimento all'immacolata concezione per propagandare un gelato sia considerata pubblicità blasfema da parte dell'ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) inglese.

"L’uso di immagini religiose è stato giustificato da parte della società che usa la satira e l’umorismo gentile per contestare la pertinenza e l’ ipocrisia della religione e gli atteggiamenti della Chiesa sulle questioni sociali".

Satira e umorismo gentile, attenzione. Perché altrimenti qui ci si offende.

Impensabile caricaturare. Impensabile un po' di umorismo. Impensabile anche usare la logica.
Vanno prese sul serio le caricature di sé stesse. Sempre.

Infatti: "... l’ ASA ha stabilito che l’uso di una suora incinta e il riferimento alla Immacolata Concezione può “probabilmente essere visto come una distorsione e una presa in giro delle credenze dei cattolici“.

Che invece si basano su presupposti assolutamente logici e scientifici.
Cosa si può distorcere la sacrosanta verità secondo cui una donna illibata avrebbe partorito (e non un bambino qualunque, badiamo bene, bensì una divinità)?
Come si può osare prendere in giro una credenza tanto evidentemente fondata?

Inaudito. Sacrilegio, vilipendio ...

Non si può. Non senza contraddittorio.

SLEEPY ME

DOVE ANDIAMO?

CAFFE' CORROTTO

Se non fosse tragico sarebbe comico. Come al solito.





Non ce credo che ce so' i complotti
'sto Paese è pieno de corrotti

Lavoriamo tutti come muli 
ma l'italia è in mano ai paraculi


...

BRUTTE MALATTIE

""Correnti, metastasi dei partiti".
Come dire che i partiti sono un cancro.

E NON C'E' NIENTE DA RIDERE

 
Afghanistan, arrestati tre italiani con gravi accuse. Pare stessero salvando delle vite.

Appena ha appreso la notizia, Frattini ha annullato tutti gli impegni ed è partito per le ferie.

Affidati a Frattini e Gasparri i primi commenti sull’arresto degli uomini di Emergency. Ma si tratta ancora di figure di merda esplorative.

Gasparri: “La linea di Emergency è poco chiara”. Infatti è chiara.

Frattini: “Occorre cautela nella questione Emergency-Afghanistan”. Può occuparsi di una sola parola straniera per volta.

Cernusco sul Naviglio, bimba nigeriana di 13 mesi muore perchè il padre non ha la tessera sanitaria. In Afghanistan l’avrebbero curata.





da: www.spinoza.it

LA DEMOCRAZIA IN ITALIA

Gli italiani sono irrimediabilmente fatti per la dittatura.

Ennio Flaiano.